Readers, something actually magical has happened! I’ve spent a non-zero amount of time this week compiling a wishlist for potential Stardew Valley-likes that also let me keep pets. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to play, but I knew I was burnt out on both stabbing and shooting, and wanted something light and colourful with a solid loop that I could veg out (pun intended) with at the end of the day. I even went to so far as to create a chap named Karrot King in Stardew before quitting in disgust because I couldn’t easily access carrot seeds.

I cannot in good conscious claim that I manifested such a videogame - that was the work of Skyreach Studio. However, this is the internet, so I will both take credit for it and offer you an exclusive discount on my course. While I’m waiting for your membership fee to arrive, I’ll be playing Critter Crops. It’s a witchy farming sim in which you grow odd pets and cast spells from flesh-bound grimoires. One of the verbs it offers on its Steam page is 'noodle'. Apologies to all the other games on my wishlist.

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Readers, something actually magical has happened! I’ve spent a non-zero amount of time this week compiling a wishlist for potential Stardew Valley-likes that also let me keep pets. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to play, but I knew I was burnt out on both stabbing and shooting, and wanted something light and colourful with a solid loop that I could veg out (pun intended) with at the end of the day. I even went to so far as to create a chap named Karrot King in Stardew before quitting in disgust because I couldn’t easily access carrot seeds.

I cannot in good conscious claim that I manifested such a videogame - that was the work of Skyreach Studio. However, this is the internet, so I will both take credit for it and offer you an exclusive discount on my course. While I’m waiting for your membership fee to arrive, I’ll be playing Critter Crops. It’s a witchy farming sim in which you grow odd pets and cast spells from flesh-bound grimoires. One of the verbs it offers on its Steam page is 'noodle'. Apologies to all the other games on my wishlist.

Read more