As I have now casually mentioned in about 400 news posts, I'm moving flat soon. During the quest for a new flat - a quest I would slot somewhere between return to Ravenholm in Half-Life 2 and the Shalebridge Cradle in Thief: Deadly Shadows in terms of overall hopefulness and unpleasant surprises - I toyed briefly with the idea of living in a mobile home.

You can find all kinds of weirdo moving property on Gumtree - houseboats, caravans, yurts, large coats, coffins - but they all share the disadvantage of being cramped and more expensive than described and inadequate to the power and internet needs of a Maxed-Out Videogame Journalist. If I'd seen a house with chicken legs, though? It'd have been worth the sacrifice. Just think, whenever James Archer gives me grief about my performance in Lethal Company I could send my house to step on him.

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