Man. I have seen some shit since taking up a regular post at this fine website. I have had my mind blown with an alarming frequency. I have been sent into waves of mocking laughter more times than anyone writing for a respected website should admit. I have, in other words, been ruined by the internet.

Despite all of this unaddressed trauma, I continue to write for this site. Why? Well… several reasons. First and foremost, I enjoy writing. This site has an amazing group of regular readers. Some days, the hate is as enjoyable as the love. And, if nothing else, I’m provided constant opportunities to see things I’ve never seen before, even considering my many trips around the internet block. In other words, I need help but still prefer the company of others in my same position.

We’re seeing some amazing stuff right now. Fentanyl does indeed have the power to kill. People unfamiliar with its power are at risk of overdosing.

But fentanyl is, at its base, just another opiate. These have always presented this sort of risk, especially because getting high is almost indistinguishable from getting dead, which tends to result in a higher number of overdoses.

Meanwhile, everyone on one side of the drug experience (the DEA, FBI, and the local media) portrays this drug as capable of killing people who aren’t even ingesting it. Every drug bust is broken down to the minimum lethal level — 2 milligrams — by government spokespersons or journalists willing to push the government’s narrative forward.

While it’s likely true two milligrams can kill someone, that dosage would most likely only be able to end the life of an infant forced to ingest this dosage while having its mouth and nose held shut by DEA agents or entirely-too-credulous reporters.

Then there’s the DEA’s insistence drug cartels are not just seeking to addict children but kill them by offering up multi-colored variations of fentanyl products. While it’s undeniably true the drug trade often involves death, very few drug dealers actually want their customers to die. If kids are uniquely susceptible to a product, it makes little sense to market to them, especially when their funds are limited to allowances and birthday cards.

So, it’s unlikely cartels are marketing to children. But that hasn’t stopped the DEA from claiming otherwise. The real reason for multi-colored pills isn’t to make them attractive to children (who are capable of ending their own lives using any number of OTC and prescription medicines that are also multi-colored). It’s marketing. It’s brand differentiation and an indicator to buyers what product they’re getting and what its potency is.

While the government is busy claiming drug cartels are turning deadly drugs into candy, the government is also seeking to obtain deadly drugs in the form of candy. I am not making this up. Here’s Julia Ainsley with the details for NBC News.

The chief medical officer for Customs and Border Protection pressured his staff to order fentanyl lollipops for him to take to the United Nations General Assembly meeting in New York in September, according to a whistleblower report sent to Congress on Friday. 

The whistleblowers said Dr. Alexander Eastman’s staff raised questions about why he would need to order fentanyl lollipops to take with him, and he answered that it was part of his duties to make sure that any injured CBP operators were cared for, making the argument that the lollipops would be necessary for pain management should an emergency occur.

lololololollipop

This sounds like the actions of a person with a drug problem. This sounds exactly like Dr. Eastman wanted a personal stash of fentanyl edibles to get him through the day(s). What this doesn’t sound like is an actual medical need for these products.

Dr. Eastman claimed he was concerned about those flying him to his UN appointment via a Marine helicopter. He also claimed they might be useful in case he or the others on his flight “encountered a patient in need.”

The real reason can only be imagined. But there are some eye-opening things here:

Eastman’s staff initially responded to his request by explaining that Narcan, which can save the lives of those who overdose on fentanyl, has been requested for CBP operations in the past, but not fentanyl itself. The whistleblowers say staff members raised questions about how he would store the lollipops and what he would do with unused fentanyl at the end of the operation, according to the report. 

Eastman responded by writing his own policy regarding procurement of Schedule II narcotics, which omitted any mention of how narcotics were to be stored and disposed of, the whistleblowers allege.

Absolutely on the up and up here. Definitely not the actions of an opiate addict. I mean, we all know the saying: a thief will steal your stuff; a junkie will help you look for it.

On top of this, the whistleblowers pointed out the doctor was an uninvited guest. The chief medical officer is rarely, if ever, asked to attend UN general assemblies. But Eastman inserted himself (and his desire for opioid lollipops) into this equation by insisting his presence was necessary because [squints at report] the CBP was assisting the Secret Service with event security. The addition of a doctor with fentanyl lollipops would apparently make this security even more secure.

While it’s nice the whistle was blown, it appears Dr. Nick Eastman still retains his position as the chief medical officer for the CBP. I guess that’s good news for the boys in green, who will be able to indulge their opiate sweet tooth without fear of reprisal. On top of that, we’re now assured it’s safe to bring opioid edibles on board a government aircraft without having to worry about killing everyone on board with these airborne contaminants. Let’s hope Dr. Eastman continues to maintain his position while simultaneously undercutting the federal government’s “every milligram is a killer” narrative. The more he destroys his own reputation, the more he dismantles anti-drug hysteria that makes people stupider, rather than safer.