If we're plotting out the year based on unexpected obsessions, mine were (in no particular order) weird Italian genre cinema of the 60s and 70s, an unhealthy appetite for unnecessarily elaborate physical media collector's editions, folk horror in literally any form I could consume, and, apparently, No Man's Sky. According to Steam's usual end-of-year thing, the exploratory space sim is by far my most played game of 2025, accounting for - somewhat incredibly - nearly 20 percent of my total playtime.

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I think a lot of Dispatch can be distilled into a single moment at the beginning of the game when the player comes face to face with a penis. There it is, dangling visibly between the legs of an unclothed, toxic-drenched super-villain you're about to fight. The camera all but centers on it. There's no way you can miss it unless you've flipped the nudity switch off, in which case it's replaced by an even more conspicuous black box that only amplifies the naughtiness of the part hidden within. But most people don't turn nudity off because they're expecting boobs. That's what we usually see. In Dispatch, however, it's a penis we see waggling unavoidably on our screens.

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Out in space there are objects that orbit one another for so long, and at such a stately pace, that when they both eventually arrive at the same point, they don't collide with some kind of awful explosion. Instead, they just touch. They graze. They fuse. It's all very gentle. And then, over time, the two objects become one.

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Of all the games released this year, all the triple-A blockbusters and genre-defining smash hits, nothing shook me as much as Umamusume: Pretty Derby. I won't deny that it was once a game I was embarrassed to be playing. But now? I'm all in, dude. I'm an English 27-year-old who is invested in Japanese horse racing. And if you too can push past your misgivings, you'll find one of the better strategy games released this year.

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